Brightest in the Dark
by Hahren Cassandra
Summary: A light is brightest in the dark, and what a better beacon than love? AU, Hawke was captured by the Templars as child and brought to the Circle. There he grows, learns, and meets his other half. But does his dear blonde healer see him the same way?
1. Chapter 1

Note: As always, I own nothing. Characters belong to Bioware, I'm just playing in their world.

Summary: AU, what if Hawke was caught young and raised in the Circle? And he met a certain blonde mage we're all so very familiar with.

They caught him a mile away from his home when he had snuck off to get away from the howling of the new babies. Ever since those terrible, smelly twins had come into this world he hadn't had a single moment of quiet. All he wanted was to practice his lightning spells with Father, but he was too busy helping Mother with Carver and Bethany. So, left to his own devices and too bored to stay inside the house any longer he wandered to the outskirts of their small town of Winterhall. And just his luck, there was a group of Templars who were escorting a Revered Mother to Redcliffe. One saw him flick a tiny bolt of lightning and it was all over. The Knight-Captain had scooped him up despite his protests and slung him over shoulder. Garrett screamed and kicked and begged, but his words fell on deaf ears. The Mother was kinder to him than her Templar guards, giving him comforting hugs and even slipping him a few sweets. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as Father had said. Maybe the others were as kind as the Mother.

He was greatly disappointed upon arriving at Kinloch Hold. The Templar knights were just as cold and imposing as the ones that had taken him from Winterhall. The First Enchanter had smiled kindly at him, but in the dark of the apprentices quarter the grief of losing his family and the thoughts of never seeing them again ... He whimpered and gripped his pillow tighter, willing himself not to scream. The bed above him rustled and the person above climbed down the ladder.

"Hey you . . . new kid" Garrett sat up, "hold on" the other kid waved their hand and conjured up a tiny wisp of light. It wasn't much, but it allowed Garrett to see his bunk mate. The other kid looked just a little older than Garrett. "So, what's your name?"

"Garrett." He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his new apprentice robe, "who are you?"

"Wilhelm Von Huldibrand. But everyone calls me Anders." His accent was strong on the W and V, it almost made the younger boy laugh. "So, did the Templars catch you or did your parents hand you over?"

"My parents would never hand me over!" Anders shushed him with a hand over his mouth.

"Quiet. You don't want the Templars finding you awake after lights out." Garrett nodded. "You're lucky then. Most of us get handed over by our parents."

"My father's a mage, he won't let them keep me!" Anders smiled at him. "What?"

"Your father's a mage? An apostate, wow." Garrett cocked his head, he'd never heard the term apostate before. "You know, free mage? Not living in a tower."

"Then I'm going to be one too."

"Need to escape the tower first. And to destroy your phalactery."

"What's a phalactery?" Anders chuckled, "what? What's so funny?"

"Oh Garrett, I think the Tower just got a bit less boring." That was the start of a beautiful friendship. In a few short weeks the pair became inseparable, the younger dark haired mage following the elder around like a shadow. Not that Anders minded, he rather liked having the other around. Garrett was already much more skilled at his magic than the other kids his age, it was nice to have someone he could practice with other than the senior enchanters. For ten years Hawke lived in the Tower, relatively content with his lot in life, but like Anders his desire to return to the outside world was never fully stomped out.

(10 years time)

Garrett had fallen asleep in the library, again, Anders mused. As he had just passed his sixteenth name day it would not be long before he was Harrowed and until that time he would be spending every waking minute he could in the library. Not that he really needed to, he was a prodigy. He excelled at the schools of primal and elemental magicks. It made Anders a bit envious, but each had their own talents. Hawke could set people on fire and Anders would wiggle his fingers and make the burns go away.

"Hello gorgeous, you're sleeping through dinner" he shook the younger mage's shoulder, almost getting swatted by one of Garrett's large hands. Maker, did that kid have huge hands. And Anders knew the saying about men with big hands... "Wakey, wakey! Get up or there won't be anything left for you."

"Shu' up Anders. I need to finish this book. Maker's bloody balls, how long was I out?" Anders laughed as Hawke riffled through the stacks of papers, "here" he thrust a paper into Ander's hands "test me on the lightning spells, I think I might have missed.."

"No."

"No? What do you mean no? My Harrowing could be any day now! Do you want me to fail?" Anders only smiled at him, every apprentice went through this insane, twitchy phase before their test. Most worried without need, but some...well Garrett wasn't one of those. He'd be fine.

"If you fail, it won't be lack of knowledge, it'll be because you passed out from hunger. Now, let's go eat, healer's orders." Garrett growled, but didn't protest. Anders was pleased with himself, he liked being able to use his authority as a full-fledged mage. Even if it annoyed Garrett to no end. He was only a few years older than him.

"Fine. You're an ass you know that?"

"It is one of my best qualities. Now, stop oggling it and let's get dinner." Hawke's stoic face finally cracked in a smile. Anders always knew what it took to make the younger man laugh. A too rare thing and Anders was hardly the only one who though that.

"What's for dinner?"

"Fereldan lamb and pea stew. At least that's the fancy name for gray mush. Oh, hello kitty!" Anders scooped up the tower's tabby mouser from one of the window ledges along the stairwell.

"You're too fond of the furry abomination." Anders stuck out his tongue as he stroked behind the cat's ears. Garrett could only roll his eyes as the other settled the little beast around his shoulders. Anders got along well enough with most of the people in the Tower (well the mages that is), but if there was anything he loved it was that cat. And shooting lightning.

The dining hall was packed by the time the two mages finished climbing the stairs. The stew must actually be edible tonight. One of Garrett's friends, Aeryn Surana, waved a hand to catch his attention. She had saved a spot for him at the apprentice table.

"I wasn't sure you were going to come to dinner tonight. I thought we were going to sneak you a sandwich in the library later." Garrett shrugged and tore himself a chunk of hot bread to dip in the stew. "Hey, slow down, you'll choke if you keep going at that rate." Garrett did slow down, only long enough to empty his cup of water. "You're such a pig."

"I'm a growing boy. Not all of us are tiny, tiny elves." Aeryn giggled.

"Or pretty healers." Garrett almost spat out his food. "Got you. He is very pretty though, if I were into humans. You're all so . . . beefy."

"Even me? I always thought I was the dainty type."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Garrett feigned a hurt expression, "oh come on, you're not nearly as bad as some of those Templars. Then again, you don't wear a metal skirt."

"You don't know what I wear under my robes. I could be. Like to find out?"

"Oh my, what an invitation, how will I ever resist?" A couple of the younger apprentices were staring at them now, but their friends knew this was normal behavior for both. Aeryn was the Tower's third biggest flirt, first being Daylen Amell and second was Anders. They were the ones that kept Tower life from feeling too much like a prison. "Whatever will we tell your boyfriend. Actually, we could make this a very fun threesome." That earned another hot blush from Garrett.

"Shut up would you?" He was starting to regret telling Aeryn about his crush on Anders. Granted, she had already guessed it from the way Garrett would follow the older mage around like a lovesick mabari pup.

"You know I'm teasing, sweetheart. But look on the bright side."

"What?" He said not a bit sullenly.

"You'll always have me. Well, not in that way. But you catch my meaning." She wrapped her small arms around him in an attempt to give him a big hug, but her arms didn't quite reach all the way around.

"Thank the Maker, I was beginning to think I was unlovable." The rest of dinner passed in relative quiet, as much as a room filled with a couple hundred people could be. When he had finished his stew Garrett returned to the library and his mountain of papers. He attempted to finish another chapter on the magic of primal forces, but on a belly full of stew his resolve didn't last long. A short hour, and a secret tryst in a closet, later Anders was passing through the library to head up to the enchanters' quarters he found the younger mage slumped over his table fast asleep.

"Hello sleepy head. Those books make a great pillow, for a a golem." He considered waking Garrett, but decided against it. If he woke him up he'd be up all night. And then grouchy the next day. "Sleep well you big baby." Anders pushed Garrett's dark bangs out of his face, smiling tenderly at his friend. He was so sweet in his sleep with those lovely lips parted just so. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked. It was such a shame that he and Aeryn were an item, otherwise he might say something. Or do something. Still, as much as he sleep around, he did try to avoid those who were already spoken for. Until the day Garrett and Aeryn broke it off he would keep his distance and play the game. But the moment they were through he would be ready to jump in.


	2. Chapter 2 Perchance to Dream

A/N : Second chapter is here, and I'm pleased to see the number of alerts I've recieved. This is a not on the rating, it will remain T for now, but is likely to change to M. However, I will hold off on changing that until whatever purge is going on ( petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net) take a look if you will. Without further adeiu I give you part 2, I would like to thank vgaurdian123, RivalAdmirer19, Adara's Rose, and Lilalemslale for adding me to their alerts. Also, those who review get a gift wrapped Anders (though you may have to fight Hawke for him). They will also bring quicker updates. May the winds of fortune always come your way. ~ Cass

(In the Dreaming)

Garrett wasn't sure how he had ended up in this place. HIs last memory was of himself falling asleep in the library, again. Alim Hassan had been offering him some help with entropy magic. He had never been especially gifted in that branch of magic. It seemed to dark for his tastes. What had happened . . . Alim had been droning on, boring as usual, and then? Well he had woken up in this bed.

"Garrett" a womanly voice called, "time to get up my boy. Father needs your help in the fields." Father? But he..no..Father was waiting.

"Yes, mother." He rolled out of bed and pulled on his boots. He climbed down the ladder to the main room. Mother was cooking some porridge, Bethany kneading some dough. Carver must already be in the field. "See you later." His mother turned around and smiled. The corners of her eyes had the tiniest of crows feet. When had she developed those? She wrapped her arms around him and planted a kiss on his stubble covered cheek.

"I love you my darling boy. You know that right?"

"Of course. I'll see you later!" He bounded out the door to the open fields. He could see the wavering forms of his father and brother in the distance.

"You're finally up, much longer and I would have sent Carver back to get you." Malcolm was cutting some elfroot to make some more health potions. He was going to teach Garrett how to make elfroot potion soon, he'd promised. "But you're here now, I'm so glad the First Enchanter let you come home."

"He did? I thought they never let people go." The landscape was getting hazier now. What was going on? Memories surged forward, passing his harrowing, the Enchanter smiling and giving him a written declaration of his freedom, his parents weeping as their baby boy came home . . . But something was wrong, what about Anders, he couldn't leave him behind, could he?

"Of course, how else would you be here?" Malcolm gripped his shoulder with iron strength. "You don't think I'm lying, do you?" Malcolm's face wavered, there was something underneath it, many eyes and jagged teeth... "You dare call your father a liar!"

"No, I.."

"Back you foul beast!" A figure in armor ran towards them, swinging a huge broadsword, slicing Malcolm in half. Garrett stumbled, the demon's hold on his mind was broken, how could he have been so easily deceived? "Are you alright mortal?"

"Fine. Who're you?" The armored man sheathed his blade and gave a small bow.

"I am a spirit of Justice. I have watched your progress and feared the demon would do you harm before you realized you were in the Fade. The desire demon will plague you no longer."

"So, now what? Do I wake up?" The spirit nodded.

"You must travel to the edge of the dream, then you will wake." The spirit pointed to the horizon, "you must hurry, that demon is but one in this dream, the others will attack once they realize what has happened. Take this" Justice handed him a staff, or what passed for a staff in the Fade, "use it wisely." Hawke gave it a quick twirl, it was just like his in the real one.

"Thanks. Until next time?" The spirit was silent, maybe it was hoping there would be no next time. Garrett strapped the staff to his back and started running for the horizon. He needed to get back. He had to pass his Harrowing. There were people waiting for him on the other side. Aeryn. Anders. "Focus, Garrett, no need to call every single desire demon in the Fade." With a quick haste spell he found the ground flying away. He was going to make it!

_'You escape this time' _a curling whisper wrapped around his mind, _'but I will be there, waiting on the edge of your dreams. You can't run forever...'_

The horizon burst into light.

(The Tower)

It felt like someone had been tap dancing on the inside of his skull. Had one of the apprentices gotten a hand on some Antivan Brandy, again. No, that wouldn't explain his Fade experience. His harrowing, it must have been his Harrowing.

"Ahh, you're awake" First Enchanter Irving helped him to his feet, "you did well in your first Fadewalk. Congratulations, Enchanter Garrett." The Templar guards who had been part of his vigil put away their weapons now that it was clear he was no abomination.

"Thank you First Enchanter, I couldn't have done it without your guidance." And that of Enchanters Niall, Wynne, Leorah, and of course Anders. He had learned though it was good to play the bureaucratic game and suck up to his superiors.

"Only possible with a keen mind. No doubt you are exhausted from your experience." They started walking down to the apprentices' quarters, the templars locking the top level behind them. "Rest up, this will be your last night in the apprentices' quarters. Tomorrow you will be moved to the Enchanters' floor after you pick your new staff."

"I look forward to it. Good night sir." The First Enchanter gave him a fatherly look and bade him a pleasant night. As he shut the door to the apprentices' quarters he realized just how drained he was. He sat down on the edge of his bunk and kicked off his boots. Garrett was asleep before his head hit the pillow. His dreamless sleep did not last long as someone slid into the narrow bunk with him. It wasn't the first time someone had joined him in his bunk, so it didn't set off his alarms. It was always one of two people, Aeryn or Anders. Though since his Harrowing it had dwindled down to just Aeryn. She often got lonely at nights as she had shared a bed with a brother before being taken to the Circle. With Garrett she was able to close her eyes and pretend she was in the Denerim alienage again. "Aeryn?"

"Nope. Though if she joins in, nevermind actually this bed is too small for three." Garrett's pulse raced. It didn't help that the man was pressed so close and was wrapping an arm around him. They had done this many times as children, both scared and homesick, taking what comfort they could from each other. But neither had been children for quite some time. "So," his breath hot against Garrett's ear, "passed the Harrowing, knew you would."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Anders chuckled low and tightened his grip around Garrett's waist.

"It also means no more bunks. Have to tell you, the beds upstairs, so much nicer." The mention of bed was bringing some rather heated fantasies to mind. Damn that all too pretty mage.

"Guess I'll know soon enough." Garrett felt himself falling back asleep despite the warm body pressed so deliciously close to him. He yawned louder than intended. Anders ran a hand through his hair and shushed him.

"Sleep, long day tomorrow." Garrett smiled as those long fingers carded through his thick black hair. It felt so nice, for a moment he could pretend they were lovers stealing a moment in the dark. He would treasure these moments, reliving them in his dreams. Soon he was snoring, Anders entwining their hands. He wished he could stay all night, but it would not be good for either of them if the Templars caught them like this. Sighing he pressed a kiss to the younger mage's temple, "good night, miene liebe." Tomorrow he would replace the happy, glib mask he wore for all to see, but for now, in this moment, he would be himself. Tomorrow would come all too soon.

Note:

miene liebe - my love

In the game, the Anderfels are supposedly based on the Holy Roman Empire (which covered most of modern day continental Western Europe, including France, Germany, Austria, etc). For this reason I picked German as Anders' native tongue.


	3. Chapter 3 That which is Broken

A/N: Sorry guys, this is going to be the last update for a while, until I can get some reviews. Sorry to be that writer.

Garrett had picked a simple staff with a core of dragonthorn and couple bands of red iron. It had a gnarled end to hold a focus crystal Owain had ordered for him. With that he could conjure more powerful primal spells. If he had only one word to describe his new staff, it was awesome. He gave it a few fancy twirls, admiring the balance of this beautiful new piece. Its balance was so much better than the one he had carried as an apprentice.

"New staff, or you just happy to see me?"

"Can't it be both? Jealous yet?" Aeryn snorted.

"Boys and their staffs, you guys really can't think of anything else."

"A most tragic curse. Could always be worse, we could be obsessed with blood, or blowing up the Chantry, or recreating the fabled wine of Arlathan. Actually, that last one might be a good idea." Aeryn swatted his arm, the highest part of him she could reach without climbing a stool. Silly Garrett, why couldn't he be this open with everyone else? He'd be the most popular mage in the Tower. Well, give Anders a run for his sovereigns at least. Speaking of...

"So, they moved you up to your new quarters. Whose your new roommate?" She knew Garrett had been secretly wishing for it to be Anders, the poor idiot was hopelessly besotted with the older blonde. "Anyone cute?"

"Godwin. Least he's friendly, though I hear he has a freaky love of Orlesian cheese. Should I be worried?" Godwin was eighteen, and had just passed his Harrowing a year ago. He was also fairly quiet and kept mostly to himself. He could however be coaxed out of his shell with enough alcohol and be a reasonably fun guy. Also freakishly flexible as he had once demonstrated by putting his ankle behind his head. Not that Aeryn had been paying attention, much.

"No, he's harmless. Just don't ask him to show you how flexible he is. He'll do it once he's had enough. I thought they might put you with Anders, Irving always talks about what a 'calming' influence you have on him." Irving had kept them under the same tutors for most of their education after noticing how close the boys were. They'd assumed when both had passed their final test they would probably share a room on the enchanters' floor. Seems Irving had changed his mind. They started to walk down towards the library to join the other mages, there wasn't much else to do most days except study.

"I'm not going to ask why you know any of that. On the bright side, your Harrowing is coming soon. You've already passed your seventeenth nameday. You get a cool new staff too." Aeryn pulled out a tome on Creation magic, her strong suite. She had the potential to be a great healer. Magic that did not require a staff.

"Joy, oh lucky, lucky me." She rolled her eyes and added another Creation tome to the stack she was carrying. "Just what every girl needs, a nice hard staff." At that moment the Templar Cullen walked by, his cheeks burning bright red, and made an almost indignant squeak as Aeryn realized he was staring. The poor boy practically ran off, leaving behind a very embarrassed Aeryn and Garrett who was laughing so hard he almost fell over. This is another reason mages and Templar recruits did not mix, the Chantry had decided to eradicate the topic of sex from their education. The result of a bashful Templar was always a good laugh for stressed apprentices.

Garrett was hiding in the one nook of the Tower he knew no one else was aware off. It was in one of the storage closets, a false wall that had been there for who knows how long. Probably since the original Avvar barbarians built the place. Though a hidey hole was probably not the intention his feral ancestors had in mind. He had come here often over the years when he wanted a quiet moment. When he had wanted to cry about losing his family, feeling alone, frustrated with classes, and as of this evening, a broken heart.

He had always known about Anders' flirtacious nature and the numerous flings. It wasn't like it was a secret or anything. He had finally gotten the courage to talk to him about his feelings. He had spent most of the day psyching himself up, sneaking a bit of Aeryn's brandy stash before seeking out the other mage. There were several places Anders might be at any given time, the library, the healing rooms, the indoor garden, or the enchanters' quarters. That is, if he wasn't attempting another daring escape. After spending about two hours searching the tower from top to bottom, he was ready to call it a night. Garrett was passing through the apprentices' quarters to the first level to see if Aeryn had decided to leave the dusty tomes behind long enough to grab some dinner when he heard something. He thought he heard giggling coming from one of the supply closets. It sounded like Aeryn. Was she off enjoying a bit of contraband? In his still tipsy mind he considered it a good idea to check on her. Garrett had quietly pushed open the door, just in case he was wrong and instantly regretted it.

He had found Aeryn, but she wasn't alone. Her and Anders. By the lack of clothes and the moans it was clear what they were doing. A part of him had wanted to scream or throw a punch, but the feeling of his guts dropping out stopped him from doing either. Instead, he had shut the door again, quietly as possible, and headed off to his hidey hole. He wanted to be alone. Away from those two, especially Aeryn. That traitorous bitch! And Anders, had that kiss meant nothing?

He had been on the edge of dreams when he had felt the older mage press his lips to his temple. A soft, sweet gesture that did not belong between two people who were 'just friends'. And those words, 'miene liebe', Garrett could only speak a few words of Anders' native tongue, but he knew the word for friend 'beglieter' and brother 'bruder'. It sounded closer to a different word he had heard the elder say once or twice 'lieben' when he mentioned the mother he had left behind. A word of devotion that was beyond friendship. Or so Garrett had always thought. Was he to nothing but a fling to be tossed aside? This wrung another sob from him. Garrett had never been so alone in all his life.

"Maker's bloody balls." He snarled, punching the wall with a small bit of force magic. It left a first shaped dent in the wall. Better the wall suffer than something soft and fleshy. He might want to give them both a good wringing, but he'd never forgive himself if he actually hurt them.

Garrett would have to face them eventually. He would have to put on the facade he wore for everyone else. At least until he found a way to escape the Tower. Then he could put this life behind him. Put the traitors behind him. Until then he would play the part of friend and companion, all the while wanting to vomit from the lie.

He straightened up and adjusted his robes. He was done with weeping over lost causes. Garrett wiped at his cheeks, removing the evidence of his tears. Taking a deep breath he plastered on a smile and headed down to the library.

There he found Aeryn once again at the tables, her pile of Creation books barely touched. She had been too distracted earlier. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey, I was looking for you earlier. Can you help me with some stuff?" Hawke bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from calling her on the lie. Instead he sat down beside her and opened another book.

"Sure, what are friends for?"

"Something's wrong" Anders glanced up from the Antivan romance he was reading. "I just know it." Aeryn was fidgeting in her seat, "Something's wrong with Garrett."

"Really? He seemed fine to me when I saw him this morning." Anders shut the book, the adventures of a suave (though not nearly as handsome as the mage reading his story) Antivan assassin set aside for later. "Why? Did he say something?"

"Not a word. But I know something's wrong. He's been so distracted the last few weeks." It was true, Garrett seemed to be so busy these days. He was furthering his education of force magic under Enchanter Niall and helping with the older man's classes. When he wasn't with Niall he was in the store room helping Owain. Garrett wasn't the lazy type to begin with, but he was running himself ragged with all this new work. "I barely see him anymore."

"Well, he is trying to become a Force mage. Takes lots of practice." Anders tried to downplay the situation, but he was also worried about Garrett. The mageling had become a ghost in recent weeks. He wasn't even coming to meals on a regular basis anymore. His room mate Godwin only saw him when he came back to catch a few hours rest. "Besides, if there was a problem I'm sure Godwin or Niall would say something."

"Maybe" she sighed, "but they don't know him like we do. If he's having a problem, he'll bottle it up until he explodes." And with all the force magic Niall was teaching him it could be one hell of an explosion. Setting her things aside Aeryn stood up, "I'm going to go find him."

"Want some help?" It didn't take them very long to find him. He was sitting with Niall and another new enchanter Kieran in one of the small study rooms. The three looked like they had been in deep discussion and not a little annoyed that they were interrupted.

"Apprentice Surana, Enchanter Anders, do you need something?" Garrett glanced up from the table, but turned away just as quickly. "Otherwise, we're in the middle of a lecture. Your business can surely wait."

"Sorry sir, we'll go." Aeryn apologized, preventing Anders from getting in a sharp comeback. "Garrett, later?"

"Ok." He was barely loud enough for them to catch, and didn't even turn around. It seemed that Aeryn was right, something was wrong with Garrett.

After Niall's lecture Garrett headed back to his room. He didn't feel like putting a fake face right now. He had tried to put on a smile for everyone, but it was killing him little by little. If he kept this up, he would go insane. Maybe turn into an abomination. Maker that might actually be a relief.

He was glad to find his room empty. Godwin was probably at diner or with his 'special' lady. He may be a bit of a weirdo, but at least he didn't sleep with everyone or betray his friends. Garrett collapsed on the narrow bed and buried his face into his pillow. Oh, Maker, his aching head. He considered walking down to the dining hall, but his fatigue won out. He'd probably fall asleep on the stairs if he tried to make it down. The young mage was almost sleep when the door creaked open.

"Garrett?" Aeryn. Damn. He didn't respond, only clutching his pillow tighter. "I know you're awake. You can't sleep on your stomach." She sat down on the bed next to him. Aeryn reached out to pet his hair, but he swatted her hand away. "What's wrong?"

"Go. Away. Now. Please." His words were slightly muffled, but his irritation was clear.

"Garrett!" She snapped, "don't be so mean. I'm only trying to help." That was the straw the broke the camel's back. He shot up like a Templar on lyrium overdose, shoving her from the bed. She landed on her backside with a thud. "What the hell?"

"You want to help? You really want to help!" He stood up, grabbed her by the wrist and forced Aeryn to her feet. With an iron grip he dragged her to the door, the elf struggling the whole way. "Then never talk to me again. I don't want to see either of you again!" Garrett all but tossed her out and slammed the door. He pulled the deadbolt and returned to his bed. He could hear Aeryn pounding on his door, demanding an explanation. "It's for the best" he whispered as he leaned over, cradling his head, "it's for the best."


	4. Chapter 4 Magelings The Original Fire

Note: A short mini fill until I can finish editing the next chapter. Have a look at the early years of Garrett and Anders when they were still magelings. Dedicated to my wonderful reviewers Kyle and vgaurdian123. I promise to write mini fills for any who post a review and will take prompts if given. May the winds of fortune always come your way ~ Cass

Magelings - The Original Fire

(A wee Garrett and Anders mini story)

The Circle is a dreary enough place, but storms make it near unbearable. It also made the apprentices a touch moodier than usual. The Templars had noticed this over the years and gave a cautious look before turning corners to avoid getting the robes singed by a fireball. Garrett had spent the last three months adjusting to tower life. He had done well so far, his father's training had set him two years ahead of the others in his age group. It allowed him to be in the same class as his friend Anders. He liked that, he didn't want to be separated from the one person in the tower who was really nice to him. His mentor, Senior Enchanter Irving, had chuckled softly when he said this. Irving had remarked that he was glad Garrett had found a friend, even if it was the Tower's resident trouble maker. Maybe Garrett's presence could have a calming effect on the older boy.

Anders had been the one to suggest that they find one of the upper story windows to watch the storm from. Garrett hadn't really thought there was anything special about the weather until Anders unlatched the stained glass and pushed the window open. Then he saw the whole world turn grey. The wind was whipping up the water, the froth like a boiling soup, and the trees at the base of the tower were clinging desperatly with their roots. Lightning that no mage could ever hope to conjure was streaking across the sky. Its brother thunder was crackling and booming heavy overhead. Garrett felt a thrill of excitement mingled with primal fear. Was the tower even strong enough to resist such a storm after so many centuries?

It didn't bother Anders one bit as he leaned a bit further out the window, his red blonde hair becoming drenched as he did so. He was even laughing, a wild little creature completely at home in this torrent. The Anders bred a hearty people who survived darkspawn and bitter cold, a little rain was nothing to them. This day Garrett saw a glimpse of the fire brewing beneath that pale skin. The fire that would eventually lead Anders to the Grey Wardens.


	5. Chapter 5 A World on Fire

Aeryn sat numbly in the library, Garrett's voice still ringing in her ears. She'd seen him angry, but this was something beyond anger. This was raw fury. The type that made even the darkest of rage demons tremble. He must have seen them. There was no other reason for him to be so angry. Oh by the Maker, what had she done? Why had she allowed this to happen?

She had been busy studying the many, many tomes of Creation magic that the library offered when the elder mage had plopped down at her bench. He had shut her book and said she was going to make herself burst into flames if she didn't stop stressing herself. Aeryn had asked him, jokingly of course, what exactly he had in mind. Anders had given her a roguish wink and indicated for her to follow him. They'd found an unoccupied storage closet and made use of it. A sweet, delicious hour of stress relief that left both parties in a better mood.

Was it so wrong? Yes her friend Garrett was mooning over the gorgeous creature, but he was too shy to make a move. At any rate he'd likely just assume this was part of Anders' already well known flirty nature. There was no way he'd hold it against them if he found out. It seems she was wrong and Garrett wanted nothing to do with either of them again. Her chest tightened at the realization of what she had done to her dearest companion. They had broken him in a way no Templar ever could.

Aeryn had told Anders about Garrett and their part in it. Anders had almost fallen flat on his ass when she told him about Garrett's feeling for him. He'd always assumed there was nothing but friendship between them. Though that likely no longer existed as long as Garrett remained angry at the two of them. He felt like an idiot, worse, he felt like a Templar! He'd hurt the person he loved with such ease it was scary.

He had considered searching out the younger mage to beg his forgiveness, but from what Aeryn said it would probably only make him angrier. They would give him all the space he wanted for now. They would need to talk, to finally be honest with each other and to slowly mend the fence. After all they all had to live together in this prison, they might as well get along. Anders had kept that one grain of wisdom Irving had imparted in mind as he considered the situation with Aeryn and Garrett.

What had happened between him and Aeryn could never happen again. It had been fun yes, but it was nothing compared to what he wanted with his dark haired mageling. Aeryn would understand, she knew that what had been between them was nothing but an outlet for all the stress and tension of tower life. Though she might have mentioned that she and Garrett were not and had never been a couple before all this began. A dark part of him had hoped to make her want to leave Garrett so that he could make a move at long last. The rest of him had paid the cost for such a mistake. Aeryn was near inconsolable about losing her friend to her own stupidity and base desires. One little (though previously repeated) mistake had cost her so much. It made her already bad moods terrifying.

We will fix this, Anders promised her over and over, we will make this right.

"Have you seen my apprentice?" Anders turned from his pile of health potion ingredients to find Niall impatiently fidgeting at the door way to the healing rooms.

"Which one?"

"Garrett of course, the one that you and the elf girl are practically attached too" Anders flinched, that was no longer the most accurate description of the relationship between the three. "He was supposed to bee helping my force magic class today and I can't find him."

"Did you ask Godwin? They room together."

"Yes, yes" Niall started pacing, "he hasn't seen him since dinner yesterday. He suggested I ask Owain first, but he hasn't seen him either. So have you or not?"

"Sorry, can't help you. Though I'm sure you have several other students capable of doing the job." Niall shook his head and took a seat across from Anders.

"I'm not worried that _I _haven't seen him. I'm worried that _nobody_ has seen him." Anders set aside the herbs he had been working with, finally catching onto the situation.

"You think he escaped? Garrett? Irving's prized pupil?" Unlike Anders, Garrett had never attempted to escape before. He had resisted tower life initially, but had come to love the order and quiet that came with it. If anyone wasn't going to run to the hills it was Garrett. Still, if no one could find him, and it had been a day...

"That's what worries me. Much longer and I'll have to speak to Greagoir, and you know he hasn't been in the greatest of moods lately with the botched lyrium shipment."

"What botched lyrium shipment?" Niall explained that a couple weeks back a shipment of lyrium had gone missing from the store room and no one had known what had happened. The Templars had started to go into withdrawal and the mages had given them wide berth to avoid an unneccesary smiting. Then, as if by magic, the lyrium reappeared two weeks later with only a few vials of the singing liquid gone. Overall the few missing vials were dismissed and the Templars returned to their normal grouchy selves. Still, it was odd for these two events to happen so close to each other.

"You don't think...did Owain give anyone else a key to the store room?" Niall's eyes widened considerably. Had Garrett been behind the missing lyrium? And the missing vials, were they a bribe for passage out of the Tower? Or worse, were they a bribe for something more valuable, his phylactery.

"I have to speak with the Knight-Commander at once" Niall hurried out and up to the Templar Quarters to alert Irving of a possible apostate without a phylactery.

A thorough search of the repository found no trace of Garrett's phylactery. Anders and Niall had been right in their suspicions, though only Anders applauded the young mage's audacity to bribe a Templar. He must have disappeared during the night through some secret passage or other, though the Templars could find no evidence of any such thing. The escape was the talk of the Tower for months after, all wanting to contribute something of their own to the story. By the end, one might be told that Garrett had fought an army of Templars bare handed with a number of mages at his back crying for freedom. It was only those who truly knew him that mourned his absence and the gaping hole it left in their hearts.

9:30 Dragon (8 years later) - Lothering

Lothering was on fire.

Anders had finally tracked down a lead on Garrett's location the last time he had escaped. An old woman from Winterhall, Everleen, had known the family. They had moved to Lothering shortly after their eldest was taken. Imagine her surprise when said little boy turned up on her threshold ten years later. She had given him food and a change of clothes before sending him off to find his parents.

The mage had been caught a day away from Lothering. It earned him a month in solitude, but his resolve to get free again and find Garrett kept him strong. When the month long confinement over Anders quickly escaped again. While traveling from Lake Calenhad he heard about the fall of Ostagar and the death of good King Cailan. Some people blamed the Grey Wardens, but Anders put no stock in such gossip. He had read a lot about the legendary order in the Tower library and they were always decribed as an honorable people. But, no matter, he had other things on his mind.

The smoke was rising high in the sky, clearly seen from miles away. The town was burning. The darkspawn horde had moved north from ruins up the highway and overrun the hamlet. On first glance there didn't appear to be any survivors. Anders had wandered through the smoking remains of the town, smoking embers flying up as he moved through. There was the smell of burning flesh and ash was thick, choking.

"Dead. All dead." a balding old man came through the smoke, "the darkspawn...they came in the darkness." He sat down on the ground, rocking. "Spiders.."

"Hey..." Anders placed a hand on his shoulder, sending a warm tendril of healing energy into him. Benefits of magic healing, it could heal the mind and body. "It's over. Were there any other survivors? Maybe a guy named Garrett? You know Garrett, dark hair and eyes, bit boody, but pulls it off?" Barlin, the old man, shook his head and stared at the ground.

"Yea, Malcolm's boy. Haven't seen him since yesterday. He's on one of the outlying farms. They got hit first." Anders felt his stomach drop. Garrett, was he dead? He couldn't be dead. Garrett was a strong mage. He could fight off darkspawn. Anders knelt down next to Barlin.

"Look at me" he hissed, "where is the farm? I have to find him."

"That way" Barlin pointed eastward, "can't miss them. Hope you find your friend."

The smoke was worse outside the town. The darkspawn had burned the fields and barns leaving nothing behind for survivors to eat with winter coming fast. To be felled by darkspawn steel or die slowly of starvation, hard to decide which was the better option. Anders did not allow himself to dwell to long on such dark thoughts. Pessimism was never productive. He kept moving. There wasn't a single sign of life in sight, no sound, nothing.

"Garrett!" He shouted again and again, but no one replied. Not even the wind was blowing. The blight had sucked all life from the land, blackening it just as the ancient magisters had tarnished the Golden City. "For Andraste's sake! Anyone out there?" Anders knew he had reached the far end of the outlands when the landscape gave way to hills and forest. He circled back, checking every ruined structure. Some had charred bodies inside, human and animal, others were abandoned. He hadn't checked any of the bodies, he couldn't bear it if he found Garrett among them. As far as he could tell, there was no way he could have survived this attack, why force the reality on himself harder with a burnt corpse?

Anders left the village behind, heading up the King's Highway to the capital city of Denerim. He spent a few debauched nights in the Pearl giving into vice as a way to shut out grief. It helped there was a lovely pirate who was more than willing to help him forget. Let Isabela kiss you all better, she had said as they tumbled on soft faded red sheets. She had kissed him well, but not all better. He couldn't fault her on that. He just smiled and kissed her back, wishing it was another's lips beneath his. The Templars caught up with him shortly after that and dragged him back to the Circle. Greagoir had decided to put him in solitary for a year. The old bear ended up saving his life when Uldred's abominations took over the tower. When the Templars did release him they found him curled up in the corner of the cell, dirty and thin. A year of solitude had nearly broken him in body and mind. As they hauled him to his feet he continued to murmer the same litany he had been crying when first confined.

_Es tut mi leid meine liebe_

_Ich konnte dich nicht retten aus der dunkelheit_

_Jetzt bin ich nichts, so lange wie wir sind auseinander_

_Eines Tages werde ich dir in der nacht beitreten_

_Bis dahin warte auf mich_

If any of his jailors could speak the tongue of the cold Anderfels lowlands, his words would break even their stony hearts. Alas, it was nothing but jibberwacky to them.

Translation:

(I am sorry my love. I could not save you from the darkness. Now I am nothing so long as we are apart. One day I will join you the night. Until then wait for me.)

(Denerim - two weeks after the death of Good King Cailan)

Hawke, as he now went by, worked on the docks to pay for passage to Kirkwall. The witch Flemeth had given them safe passage on the King's highway, but now they were on their own. Carver's pay as a recruit hadn't been much and run out when they needed to gather supplies on the road. Without any money they were unable to board a ship. So, they had all tried to find paying work. Carver was working with their new friend Aveline as an extension of the city guard. The influx of refugees had required a larger force than previously and the captain had been all too happy for their help. He had even looked the other way on their military records so that they wouldn't get brought in for treason. Bethany was assisting a healer in the market as her skill in healing magic was always better than Garrett's. Garrett had taken the dock job so that he wouldn't stick out and attract unnecessary attention from the Cathedral Templars. So far, it had worked. He had heard that an postate had been captured only a few days ago in the Pearl. Garrett couldn't help but admire the stupidity some mages showed. Brothel girls always opened two things, their legs and their mouths. Needless to say, the later didn't work so well when they were eager to make some quick coin with the Templars who visited them.

The long day was over, he counted his coin. He had managed to make a solid sovereign this week. It was barely enough to pay for a short trip to Amaranthine let alone Kirkwall. Perhaps Aveline and Carver had managed to do a bit better. If not, they were going to be stuck here quite a while. That could be a problem if the archdemon decided to attack a major city. The options in Fereldan were pretty limited, Redcliffe, Denerim, Highever and Amaranthine. If darkspawn were to overrun the city there would be no way out.


	6. Chapter 6 The Heart Grows Cold

(9:31 Dragon Age) Vigil's Keep

The darkspawn were swarming the fortress and Anders is, as usual, in the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd made one last escape attempt after Irving had sent off the mages to the battle of Denerim to fight the Archdemon. He thanked the Maker that Aeryn had been sent to the Tower in Starkhaven several years back. At least she did not have to worry about the Blight.

Anders hadn't been in any condition to the leave the Tower, but with a number of Templars gone to keep an eye on their travelling mage charges it had been the perfect opportunity to escape. No one thought he was even well enough to climb the Tower stairs let alone swim across Lake Calenhad.

Anders had kept away from Denerim and headed north to Amaranthine. He'd heard a rumor that the Denerim Cathedral had moved their collection of phylacteries to a safe house in Amaranthine in case the darkspawn should attack the capital. While this did mean that Anders didn't have to wade through a sea of darkspawn to find his phylactery it would be a longer journey that his still weak body may not have been entirely up to. Truth be told, it was only by sheer willpower he made it to the border of Arl Howe's lands. He'd collapsed near an outpost and been discovered by a patrol who recognized his robes. The bastards had locked him up in the dungeon of Vigil's Keep and called for the Amaranthine chantry to send their Templars. The darkspawn had come up from the Deep Roads under the Keep not long after their arrival.

The Templars had been slaughtered by the beasts and Anders had refused to aid them. He hated them. He wanted to watch those monsters rend the flesh from their bones. It was justice for all those beatings, the confinement and taking away his friends to be made Tranquil or killed if they failed the Harrowing. Garrett would be horrified of such dark thoughts, he knew, but that shining light of his existence had been extinguished by those same monsters that now feasted on Templar meat.

The Warden Commander had shown up in a blaze of glory and blood, a recruit trailing him and babbling about how he was an evil apostate. The Commander had only raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes Mhairi, he's clearly evil, just look at all the darkspawn he roasted." He knew then he liked the Hero of Ferelden. Aedan Cousland. The young nobleman who had united the land and slain the Archdemon, turned out to be his savior. Well, him and the King of Ferelden to a slightly lesser degree. The Rite of Conscription was enacted and Anders ceased to be an apostate. He was saved. Though said saving was more like getting stabbed in the gut. Repeatedly. It did however keep the Templar Ser Rylock from dragging him before the Revered Mother and accusing him of murder.

The Commander told him that he had a feeling there were going to be strange times ahead if the speaking darkspawn was indicitive of anything. He would need Anders' help and loyalty if they were all to get out of this alive. In return Cousland would give him his friendship and keep him safe from the Chantry. Anders had agreed, a bit reluctant to be chained to a cause but he could admire being part of something so much bigger than yourself. Garrett was like that, always willing to put others before himself. He would have made a better Grey Warden than Anders. He considered talking to the Commander about him, as the nobleman was constantly pestering him with questions about his past. He decided against it when the Warden's Orlesian lover, Leiliana, paid the Keep a visit. There was no need to dampen such happiness with his personal tragedies.

Instead he came up to the battlements as the sun was rising over the hills and pushing back the night time fog. He reached into the inside of his new blue and grey uniform and tugged out a leather cord with a small red stone on it. Garrett had given it to him on his fourteenth nameday, a tiny little trinket he'd managed to convince a Templar recruit to smuggle in for him. It was a heartstone. Old Ferelden wives tales said that they held special properties when given to someone the giver held most dear. Other than that they were uncommon, found occasionally near large lyrium deposits. It was a pretty little thing if nothing else, catching the light oh so perfectly. A small thing the size of a pearl, but heavy as a millstone. And the only thing Anders had left of his lost love. It was eating away at him and he couldn't continue living if he clung to that decaying memory. So, with heavy heart he removed the cord from his neck for the first time in years. The stone twinkled at him in the rising light, tempting him, but he did not give in. Standing up he took a small step back and threw the pendant with all his strength. He was free of his last constraint from the Circle, but all the emptier.

Later, in the Wending Woods, the Commander asked him what he wanted in life. He gave a smile to the man and replied 'A large estate, a plump wife and the freedom to shoot lightning at fools'. The Commander laughed and patted him on the back, they would have to find some pretty girl next time they were in the city. Leiliana would be all to happy to assist. Anders had laughed along with him, but it felt hollow. Didn't matter, the one person he would have let see the true mage was dust in the wind.


	7. Chapter 7 That which can be Bound

(9:32 Dragon Age) Vigils Keep

The Archdemon was dead and Alistair crowned king of Fereldan. He'd handed over Amaranthine to the Wardens under the command of Aedan Cousland, the hero of Fereldan. Cousland had recruited an odd bunch to the Wardens. There was a former member of the Legion of the Dead, a disgraced Howe, a mildly psychotic Dalish elf, and Anders. If he was allowed an opinion, Anders had to say he was the most normal of the bunch. Though that might not be saying all that much. He was over the moon when the newbie had joined their merry little band.

Bethany had been recruited into the Wardens after exposure to the Blight on an expedition to the Deep Roads. She had initially blamed her older brother for her predicament and had refused to send him word of her Joining. The Orlesian Warden Stroud had been the one to break the good news to the family. He would have offered to help if he felt he was qualified. Anders prefered to stay out of other people's family drama. Him and family didn't mix. Instead he offered the only form of comfort he really knew how to give, of the more physical variety. Bethany had been flattered by his advances enough to allow him into her bed. She didn't indicate that she was interested in any emotional entanglements for the time and that suited Anders just fine. He liked her, he really did, but he couldn't bring himself to love her.

"I wonder what Rett and Carver are doing with the money they made from the expedition" She was lying on her stomach, naked, and stretched out over the bed. "It looked like there was a lot of gold in that Vault. I wonder if they've bought back the old family estate yet."

"You have an estate in Kirkwall?" Anders sat back against the headrest, also still naked, enjoying the warmth emanating from the hearth. There was one good thing about the rooms in the Keep and that was that they were usually quite cozy.

"No" she snorted, "I have nothing. My brother, the lucky bastard, gets everything. The gold, the glory and the Amell estate."

"Amell? I knew a Daylen Amell in the Circle. Relative of yours?" Bethany shrugged.

"Maybe, never met any of my mother's family and father's parents were long dead by the time I was born. Still, it makes me so angry. I know Rett didn't give me the Blight, but he should have done more." Anders ran a soothing hand down her back, over the curve of her spine. He doubted her older brother could have done much, the Blight was a terrible sickness, those who caught it either died slowly or became ghouls. Stroud had told him how the boy had begged him to save his sister and had even offered to die in her place if that was required. Stupid kid. Beth had no idea how lucky she was. Most people would have just put a knife in her heart to end it quickly. But she didn't want to hear that. "What about you Anders, did you have a choice in the Joining?"

"Nope. It was drink the blood and pass out or be dragged back to the Circle and be executed. Personally, I like being alive far too much. I'm also just to charming to die." This made Beth giggle and curl up against him.

"I'll say, too charming for your own good. My brothers would kill you if they were here."

"Small mercy they're not here then." The lay in contented silence for a time after, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room.

"Tell me about the Circle" Beth asked, playing with a loose golden lock.

"Why? It's a terrible place full of Templars and high ceilings. End of story."

"Please?" she asked with a pleading tone, "my father was in the Circle, but he refused to ever speak of it. I always wanted to know more about it, what may have been my fate if father hadn't kept us safe."

"Fine" Anders shifted, getting comfortable as it was quite a bit to tell, "the Circle of Ferelden is not as strict as some, but we weren't allowed to leave. We spent our whole lives living on an island in the middle of Lake Calenhad with libraries of books telling us all about the places we could never go. And the Templars are always watching, ready to smite if you step out of line. They would sometimes take delight in tormenting the apprentices about their upcoming final test and the consequences of failure. I used to get so mad, but I couldn't do anything. That and my friends wouldn't let me. There were some good things, like learning magic, but for the most part it's a gilded cage with an armored gauntlet slowly crushing it. I was ready to kiss the Commander's boots when I realized I'd never have to go back." He could still smell the leather of the books and hear the sound of Garrett's laughter. That beautiful, rich sound that nothing had ever rivaled in splendor. It didn't help that Beth's laught reminded him of Garrett's.

"So you miss some people at the Circle? Anyone special?"

"A few. And there was someone, a long time ago." He turned his head to look at the wall. He didn't want her to see the moisture clouding his vision. Beth realized this, but was curious about Anders' past and the 'special' people in it.

"What happened? Did you have to leave them behind when you joined the Wardens?"

"They died. In the Blight, I tried to find them, but they were gone by the time I got there. The whole village had been burned to the ground." It was the most he'd spoken about Garrett in years and as much as it hurt, it also took a large weight off his chest. "Everytime I had escaped the Circle I went looking for him."

"I'm sorry" Bethany whispered, her heart breaking for the blonde mage. She'd never lost a lover before, but she knew what it was to lose someone you care about. Her father's death had affected her much the same. "Thank you for telling me, it can't be easy for you."

"No, it's good to talk about it. I've never said anything before, not even to the Commander, I didn't want him to coddle me." The Commander was a bit touchy feely for Anders' taste when it came to discussing personal lives. It was good for people like Sigrun and at times Velanna, but not him. "But lets not spoil this evening with bad memories, night's still young."


	8. Chapter 8 Brother, Keeper, Traitor

(9:33 Dragon Age) Kirkwall - The Gallows

The Warden Commander had arranged to meet with Bethany's eldest brother about the large quantities of silverite ore the Bone Pit mine was producing. His previous supplier had declared the old mine tunnels in the Wending Woods officially tapped out. He would need a new supplier if he were to keep his men in good armor. Bethany had been the one to suggest they work out a deal with her brother. He was reasonable man and fond of his fellow Ferelden 'dog-lords'. Surely the reconciliation of his dear baby sister would persuade him into a good discount. The Commander had been a bit anxious to manipulate the man's love of family to get a bargain, but agreed in the end. He would come himself along with Bethany, Sigrun, Nathaniel and Anders. Varel would run the Keep in his abscence and Oghren would stay to train the recruits.

The ship took about a week to reach the Gallows where they disembarked and made their way into Hightown. It was a lot fancier and cleaner than any of the other parts of the city they had seen, and the smell of sewage almost gone. Anders cringed at the idea of the poor refugees who squatted in the sewards and thanked the Maker that wasn't his lot in life. Their uniforms attracted a certain amount of attention, but compared to the Qunari at the docks they were considered mundane. Bethany was walking on air the whole way, so happy to be seeing her mother and twin again. She hadn't mentioned a word about her older brother so it was safe to assume there was still some bad blood between them even as the Commander urged her to play the part of the forgiving sibling. It was starting to give the senior warden a pounding head ache.

"So, this is the old Amell estate?" They paused outside the Hightown mansion, admiring all the tender care the elder Hawke had put into restoring the homestead. Bethany had described it as looking like quite the 'shit hole' when she first arrived in Amaranthine. It didn't look like one now. "Seems your family has done well since the expedition. Shall we?" Bethany used the large Tevinter style knocker and the door was answered by, of all the strangest things, a dwarf.

"Ahh, the Mistress has been expecting you. Though she didn't say there would be a lot of you." Bethany smiled, she remembered Bodahn from the ill fated Deep Roads trip. He had been such a sweetheart to her.

"It is good to see you Bodahn, what are you doing here?" The Commander was thinking the same, he had wondered where the wily merchant had gotten off to after the battle with the Archdemon.

"I promised to return the favor of your brother finding my boy. And I noticed your lady mother had no proper footman, so I offered my services." The group was escorted into the house, all struck by how beautiful the interior was with its fine Orlesian sylvanwood furniture and dwarven masonry with landscape paintings from Antiva and Ferelden. It was as opposite from a slaver den as could be. "Mistress, the Grey Wardens have arrived." Leandra hurried down the stairs from her room, her hair still unbound from its customary tie. She had tears streaking down her face as she wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"Oh my sweet girl" she planted a kiss to each cheek, "I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. Thank the Maker for sending you back to me."

"Mother," Bethany stepped back, "it's good to see you again. These are my friends, Anders, Sigrun, Nate and Commander Cousland."

"The Hero of Ferelden? Oh my, and I'm not even fit to recieve normal company." The Commander laughed and took her hand to place a kiss on it.

"Nonsense, you've opened your home to us my lady. And please, just Aedan, the rest is a bit of a mouthful." Anders rolled his eyes, the Commander could be such a charming little bastard when he wanted. "But, I'm afraid we're not here solely for the pleasure of your hospitality."

"Of course" Leandra showed them into the study, "I'm afraid you've come a day earlier than expected. He's at the Bone Pit until tomorrow. He left you this note just in case" she handed the Commander a scroll covered with elegant spidery writing:

_Welcome Warden Commander, I regret that business takes me from the city. I will return on the 10th, until such time my home is yours to do as you please. (I also suggest a visit to the Hanged Man, ask for Varric)._ - _Hawke_

"Hanged Man? Sounds like the kind of place pirates hang out at" Anders quipped. Bethany smirked, he was going to love meeting Isabela. "But as long as the Commander has no qualms with Wardens mixed with a few pints..." Aedan raised an eyebrow, but made no comment. "Good enough for me." The Wardens were shown to the guest rooms and given time to settle before dinner. Leandra had insisted that they all stay for supper. It also provided her with a chance to see what manner of people her daughter was associating with these days. Especially those other two men, Nate and Anders. One had such a sour look to him and the other was too much a rake, neither good enough for her baby. At least the dwarven woman Sigrun was polite. Leandra had given the dwarf full access to the numerous volumes her son had collected over the last few years. The way the tiny woman had smiled, one would think she'd never been allowed to read before.

Dinner went smoothly enough, everyone behaving themselves as the Commander kept a watchful eye for any bad behavior. Bethany was disappointed that Carver did not come as he was currently receiving Templar training at the Gallows. Big Brother Hawke had been most displeased and from the Leandra said, had hidden in himself in a dank little cave for almost three months before deeming it safe enough to return to Kirkwall without having his ass hauled to the Gallows.

"You never mentioned your brother is a mage" Anders said to Bethany, he was a bit miffed that little tid bit had been withheld. Had he not been completely honest with her?

"You never asked. And what does it matter, he barely considers himself one. He thinks we're cursed because of magic." Anders remembered a girl like that in the Circle, Keili or something like that. She had always said she thought her magic was a curse and that they were tainted in the eyes of the Maker. Crazy bitch had gotten even crazier after the incident with Uldred. He wondered if the two of them would get along or if that would just be too much craziness for one place.

"I suppose, still, it's always nice to know other apostates. We can share stories about running from Templars. We could form our own support group!" Bethany laughed at this and her mother did not miss the interaction between the two young people. So, her girl was taken with the blonde rogue? If so, Mama Hawke would have to corner him for a few words. Once dinner was done and the dishes set aside the Commander once again thanked Leandra for everything and excused himself for the evening. He was already tired from a trip to the capital to meet with the King, and a long boat ride from Amaranthine to Kirkwall had depleted his store of energies. The others were to spend the night as they pleased, but expected to be ready to go once morning came. The other four Wardens decided they would do as Hawke had suggested and go to the Hanged Man for a drink.

Garrett said his goodbyes to Fenris and Aveline as they parted ways in the Hightown square near his home. He'd been grateful the two of them had come along when it turned out there was an infestation of undead in a new tunnel. His magic was powerful, but he probably would have gotten quite a few nasty wounds before taking them all down. He wondered if the Wardens had arrived yet, he'd heard they had a knack for showing up unexpectedly. If so, he hoped they could excuse his fatigue and allow him a long night's rest. If not, well too bad.

He slipped in, his Mabari bounding up to greet him as soon as he was through the door. The poor thing didn't get enough space to run, but he wouldn't risk taking Archon to the mines in case of another spider infestation. The dog had almost gotten eaten the last time. Garrett scratched behind its ears and set his staff near the hearth so that he could take the opportunity to warm himself. Hawke noticed there was a number of sheathed weapons in the entry hallway. So his guests had indeed arrived early. He best slip into bed before one tried to ambush him.

"Hello darling" his mother came up from behind and kiss his cheek. "You're back early, everything alright at the mine?"

"Safer now that I've convinced Hubert to hire some guards and a healer. Still anxious about the possiblity of another dragon showing up." Hawke had taken on all responsibility for the safety of his employees since the Orlesian had made him his partner. The refugees had flocked to their new boss and given him full support whenever Hubert questioned his decisions. "I see our friends have arrived." His mother nodded.

"This evening, they're an interesting group. The Commander and that dwarf woman I like, but the others I just don't know about." Hawke was eager to meet with this Cousland fellow, he'd already heard more than a few tales about the man from Varric. He was curious to see if the ones the dwarf told about the Hero of Ferelden were as true as the ones he was spreading about Kirkwall's resident apostate noble.

"What makes you say that?"

"One acts as though he is constantly sucking on a lemon and the other is a rake. I don't like the way he looks at your sister." Hawke chuckled.

"Say the word and I render him limb from limb." To emphasize the point he conjured a small ball of flame into his hand. "Is Bethany well?" His voice softer, less jovial than before.

"She seems to be. I'm sure she will be happy to see you tommorrow."

"I hope so Mother" Hawke sighed, he knew his sister blamed him for her injuries in the Deeep Roads and he was content to let her blame him. He had promised their father to keep them all safe and failed. He didn't deserve her forgiveness. "But I won't keep you up any longer. Sleep well Mother."

"You too my darling boy." She gave him a hug, "And please try to smile a bit, you're looking far too grim these days." Hawke collected his staff and whistled for Archon to follow him up to bed. The dog had a habit of sleeping on the bed that would turn off most people, but Hawke welcomed the warmth and comfort Archon gave every night. At least there was one creature in Thedas who was loyal till the end.


	9. Chapter 9 Looking Back, Looking Forward

Tell me, and I will forget.

Show me, and I may remember.

Involve me, and I will understand.

- Confuscius

Anders awoke with a pounding head and a sovereign stuff in his small clothes. He wasn't sure how that had gotten there, but he wasn't going to complain about free money. It might have had something to do with that lovely pirate lady, Isabela. He remembered her from the Pearl, and she had definetly remembered him if that waggling eyebrows were any indication. Sigrun had left early when the other dwarf, Varric, had started to flirt with her. She'd said over and over that she was dead, but that only seemed to make him want her more. As the night drew on she had gotten so fed up with Varric she'd punched him in the nose and stomped out into Lowtown. The blonde dwarf had only responded with 'what a woman'! Bethany had a great time catching up with Isabela and Varric, he felt bad for the Wardens taking her away from her friends.

Varric had warmed up to him immediantly and ordered them a round of Corff's best whiskey as they swapped stories. The one about the Blackmarsh had the merchant prince doubting him, but compared to some of the things Varric told him about Hawke his story about Fade spirits and Baronesses was far more plausable. Could anyone actually punch a a Qunari in the face and live? Varric had told him that yes, Hawke had, though his mage training might have had something to do with it. After the next round things got blurry. He remembered singing some dwarven drinking song with Varric and Isabela and agreeing to a game of strip Diamondback. That may have been when someone slipped the coin into his smalls, he was a terrible card player. The head ache only got worse when someone knocked on his door.

"Anders, time to get up you lazy slob!" Ahh, his sweet, sweet Commander. He concentrated his healing energies and took away the worst of the pain. There were benefits to being a healer after all.

"Of course fearless leader" he groused and pulled on his uniform, he was certain the blue and grey was really not necessary for a business meeting, but Aedan had insisted (with his boot on Anders' ass). "I wish Ser Pounce-a-lot was here. He'd never yell first thing in the morning." Though he might leave a hair ball in his boot as a present...

"I can hear you" the Commander's baritone was clear through the door, "make sure Beth and Nate are ready before you head down." Anders grumbled, why did the Commander always try to make him act responsible, surely that was the surly archer's job.

Once dressed an cleaned up he left to wake up the others. Nate had dark rings under his eyes and almost broke his nose when he slammed the door in his face. Bethany wasn't much better, clutching her forehead and mumbling about him being a bloody bastard. At least Sigrun was cheerful, but then again she'd been the first to leave. Further proof that the Legion of the Dead, could really be wet blankets. Walking down to the entry way he could hear the Commander talking with someone.

"It's good to finally meet in person Serah Hawke. The Seneschal and I have been eager to speak with you for some time."

"Well, never let it be said I turn away foreign dignitaries and Heroes. I trust you've enjoyed your stay so far?" Anders thought the voice was familiar, but he couldn't place it, the walls were distorting it too much.

"Of course, your mother was a most gracious hostess. And once the others have recovered from their excursion to the Hanged Man, we can begin negotiations." There was a bit of laughter and a murmered comment on the virtues of dwarven ale mixed with strip Diamondback. Anders wondered if he could convince his host to look the other way as he strangled his Commander. Surely the peopple of Ferelden wouldn't be too broken up with one less Hero to look up to. "Ahh, speaking of dwarven ale, its about time you got here."

"And what a lovely site you are this morning Commander, all shiny and ..." the comment died on his tongue as the man known as Hawke straightened up from his writing desk and turned, "Andraste's knicker weasles!" Hawke had an equally surprised expression, though to his credit he didn't shout blasphemies when seeing the ghosts of his past.

"Anders? Wait, what?" The two mages quickly looked each other over. It had been almost a decade since they'd last laid eyes on each other and time had taken its toll on both. Hawke was taller than he remembered, bigger too. And that beard! When had the mageling grown that furry beast? Not that the change was bad, Garrett looked...good. Very good.

"You two know each other?" Aedan, the voice of reason, cut in.

"We knew each other the Circle of Magi in Ferelden, but that was almost ten years ago." Garrett crossed his arms, "I didn't know you were conscripted into the Wardens. I heard that one of our own was in the Grey, but I never expected you."

"Surprise?" That sounded lame even to Anders' ears. The Commander smack his forehead and muttered to himself a few choice phrases in elvish.

"Maker, why didn't I let Rylock drag you back to the Circle? Could've saved me a few head aches and a couple gray hairs."

"Because we both live to piss of authority in all its forms? And how else are we going to round out the merry band of misfits you pick up." Hawke only watched the exchange with a rather neutral look, Anders hadn't changed a bit since the Circle. Whether that was a good or bad thing remained to be seen. Hawke also had to amit he liked the phrasing, 'merry bad of misfits'. It rather suited his own circle of friends. He might have to steal that once this was all over.

"Point taken. I suppose you two have a bit of catching up to do once our business is concluded." Aedan decided it was best that they move along to avoid further awkwardness. If this turned out to make Hawke hostile towards them he was going to flay the mage and wear his skin like a coat.

"Seems that we will," Hawke straightened a bit as he cleared his throat, "when you are ready Commander, I will see you at Hubert's office in Hightown. Be careful...he's _Orlesian"_ Hawke strapped his silverite staff to his back and bid them both a good morning as he headed out to meet with Varric before going to Hubert's. The dwarf had a skill with numbers that put both businessmen to shame.

Anders watched the dark haired man go with a deep pang in his chest. But for the first time in years there was hope. Hope for... well something. Perhaps the Maker was finally being kind to him. Though there was now the problem of Bethany. They wre by no means in a relationship, but it was not considered the most normal or polite thing to sleep with your friend's sister. Bethany would also probably not be in the best of moods when he told her about Garrett and himself. There was bound to be a fire ball directed his way. Though which sibling tossed it his way remained to be seen.


End file.
